My brother delivered an amazing eulogy for our grandma, who passed away on Sunday, July 19th, after an amazing 99 years of life. We will miss her always!!!
Little Grandma, this is what my sister and I called her. (Much to the chagrin of my Grandma Malik, who we of course called “Big Grandma”.) While other kids I knew called their grandmas, Grandma Johnson or Nana Jeanie. We would call my grandma, little grandma. And everyone on my block and the kids in my school would know who I was talking about when I said "Little Grandma". Why?
Because she was the only Grandma they knew who would shag balls in the backyard. Yeah, that’s right; my 70+ year old grandmother was standing in my backyard, with a glove on, fielding grounders for me and my friends! Or maybe because they saw her being marched up and down the street by my 65 lb sheepdog because she felt sorry for her, seeing her tied up in the yard.
Always willing to help someone, no matter what the peril. I have heard stories of her climbing on roofs, cleaning out gutters, shoveling walks of people who were 10 years younger than herself because she knew she could and they may not be able to. Compassion and caring, that was my Little Grandma.
Those who knew her and even those who were just around her knew that her stature was the only thing that was Little. She blessed everyone around her and did everything she could to be there for anyone who needed it. I’m convinced that is why she lived so long, so as many people as possible could be blessed with her kindness and warmth.
The nurses at Lincoln Lutheran were always telling me how much of a joy she was to be around and that they loved her spirit, even though I’m not sure “spirit” was really the word they were looking for sometimes.
Her generosity extended well beyond her extended family and friends, she was known to donate to any organization that sent her a note, picture, trinket, or pen. She truly was a caring person even when it came to deciding between giving a particular organization a donation or getting something for herself. “Well, the blind people took the time to paint this and send it to me. The least I can do is pay for it.” She would say. Always thinking about others feelings, even if she didn’t know them, much less where they were from. That was my Little Grandma.
Her memory was another thing that always astonished me. She never ceased to amaze me whenever I sat down with her and talked about any part of her life. She not only remembered the dates of big events that happened in her life. But things as trivial as, what she was wearing or what the weather was like. I think she had a giant rolodex in her head of everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries, even up in to her later years she was always sure to send a card to you on your special day.
A mind that never quit even though her body was. She would get so upset if she couldn’t remember a tiny detail about something that happen 60 years ago, she was proud of the fact that she could remember so many things and so many details. That was my Little Grandma.
My Grandma was also a very clever and funny person as you all well know. I found a Danish proverb that I though described her very well. “It is a great art to laugh at your own misfortune.” And she had quite a few, from car troubles to pratfalls. She would always come out of it smiling and joking.
She told me this story about taking a trip with her best friend Edna to the Apostle Islands. Edna and her were visiting a tavern in Copper Bay and decided it was getting dark so, it was time to go. Well they hopped in the car, Grandma as driver and Edna as navigator and headed back to the cabin. Or so they thought. She said the next thing she knew they were careening through dirt roads and farm fields, no clue where they were. Her are 2 women in their 70s, it’s dusk and they are driving next to creeks and farm fields with no clue as to how to get out. Well God works in mysterious ways and they came upon a farmer in his truck going the other direction. They flagged him down, asked him for help and he lead them out.
Grandma laughed her way through this whole story when she told it; she thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Always one for adventure, always one to laugh at her own misfortunes. That was my Little Grandma.
I heard many stories about my Grandma yesterday at the wake and the common theme to all of them was her ability to make you feel like you were the most important person in the world to her. She really had a knack for making you feel so good, so important, so loved.
My wife Nicole asked our 9 year old daughter Mariah about some of the good memories she had about little grandma and she reminded her of one Christmas, not so long ago when she was 4 years old. She said “ I gave Grandma a Christmas present. It was a bright yellow foofy Malibu feather barrett, that I called her hair pretties. Grandma loved them and wore them all through our fancy duck dinner and I felt like the hair pretties and I were the best gifts ever. I loved my silly grandma.” She could make anyone feel like they were the best gift ever. That was my little grandma.
As I was thinking about my Grandma a passage that is often used in weddings came to mind and on a whim I decided to look it up. It reads in part,
“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to it’s faith,
It’s hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
That last forever; faith, hope and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.
I sat back for a moment after reading this and thought… Love is patient and kind and envies no one. Hmm, never boastful, conceited or rude. Never selfish or quick to take offense. This sounded a lot like someone I really admired for all of these traits.
There was no limit to her faith, she was always humble and kind. My grandmother represented something I have always aspired to be but have yet to even touch. She was love, the very definition quoted here in this bible verse. She always had a kind word for someone who needed it. A handout to a stranger who knocked on her door, but never boasted about it. A wise bit of knowledge for someone seeking it, but never judging their path if it went astray.
Hope and endurance were central to her life. Always looking forward, being optimistic, enduring any setbacks set in her path. And just like to verse says, love is one of the things that will last forever. Just like the memories of all the things my grandma represented and what I will always strive to achieve.
To tell you the truth I had a hard time putting all of my Grandma’s good traits into writing. No matter how hard I try, I can never do justice to what she overcame in her life. I know we are all grieving today, we all lost a great woman. But I know that she is with Jesus, happy and content, visiting everyone who has gone before her , and catching up on lost time.
She was a mother, a sister and a friend to all of us. I’m sure each and every one of you here today has something to share on how my grandmother touched your life. I know she was a big influence on mine.
In closing, I want to leave you with one last Danish Proverb. “Shared sorrow is half sorrow.” Sorrow is to be expected when we lose someone who is so special to us, but know that as we celebrate her life together. The sorrow will be spread out and replaced with the joy of a life well lived.
I Love you Little Grandma.
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And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:32)
